This is how it ends... The stories have all been told...
“Leave me and walk away… No don’t walk, run away… Far, far away and never come back. But listen, while leaving, will you turn around and look at me once? No… Don’t… I don’t want to see that look in your eyes, I can’t. I won’t. I can’t.”
Silence.
The late winter breeze made the chimes cling. And I heaved a sigh.
A sigh of soreness… A sight of loss…
“I wish I could transfer my hatred for myself to you…” he said.
More tears… and he started to walk away, probably never to return back to me.
My eyes stayed on him. A part of me that wanted him to turn back and look at me and part of me that wanted him never to look back again.
I was broken into parts. Two, or maybe more.
“This is it. Go and stop him, will you?” My mind was unable to fathom the source. Where was this coming from? The part that wanted him back or…?
My lips went through the abuses that my teeth made on them. My nails deep in my flesh, warm and wet with blood. And then he turned.
My welled up eyes created a blurry image of him. I closed my lids and opened them again to look clearly, the tears now mapping my cheeks and making their way towards the end of their journey. The crying turned into a piercing silence.
He started to walk toward me. My heart went on frenzy.
And then he stopped.
Did he stop mid-way? Did he stop closer to where he was? Or was it closer to me?
My eyes traced the steps he’d taken.
The knowing touch of his hand and I stopped breathing. I could hear him breathe. He came closer and my nails went deeper. My tears reached his shoulder and I found myself hugging him.
Yes, A part of me, wanted time to freeze there, right there. My eyes chose to stay shut and my hands gripped him tighter.
‘He has to leave, let him go, this is it… It won’t go beyond this, Good-bye is all we have…’ my mind started the monologue. And I craved to yell again.
Silence.
The late winter breeze made the chimes cling. And I heaved a sigh.
A sigh of soreness… A sight of loss…
“I wish I could transfer my hatred for myself to you…” he said.
More tears… and he started to walk away, probably never to return back to me.
My eyes stayed on him. A part of me that wanted him to turn back and look at me and part of me that wanted him never to look back again.
I was broken into parts. Two, or maybe more.
“This is it. Go and stop him, will you?” My mind was unable to fathom the source. Where was this coming from? The part that wanted him back or…?
My lips went through the abuses that my teeth made on them. My nails deep in my flesh, warm and wet with blood. And then he turned.
My welled up eyes created a blurry image of him. I closed my lids and opened them again to look clearly, the tears now mapping my cheeks and making their way towards the end of their journey. The crying turned into a piercing silence.
He started to walk toward me. My heart went on frenzy.
And then he stopped.
Did he stop mid-way? Did he stop closer to where he was? Or was it closer to me?
My eyes traced the steps he’d taken.
The knowing touch of his hand and I stopped breathing. I could hear him breathe. He came closer and my nails went deeper. My tears reached his shoulder and I found myself hugging him.
Yes, A part of me, wanted time to freeze there, right there. My eyes chose to stay shut and my hands gripped him tighter.
‘He has to leave, let him go, this is it… It won’t go beyond this, Good-bye is all we have…’ my mind started the monologue. And I craved to yell again.
Craved.
His grip eased on me. Time to say good-bye.
His grip eased on me. Time to say good-bye.
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